Cameron’s Column

Hobie Mumford is the subject of The News’ fifth Cameron’s Column.

John: What are you most impassioned about?  

Hobie: Keeping myself busy and spending time with my family…actually, never mind.

John: What ancient thinker most excites you? 

Hobie: Isaac Newton!

John: On a scale of 1-10, what is your least favorite fruit?  

Hobie: Strawberries. They aren’t that good, and they’re overrated.

John: Do you actually wash your hands?  

Hobie: Really only when I use the bathroom. Not much besides that. 

John: How confident are you in Bigfoot’s existence? 

Hobie: I’m 70% sure he exists. I’m not 100% confident, but I have seen pictures of him online. 

John: Do we live in a matrix?  

Hobie: That’s baloney! 

John: How would you react if the boiler room flooded? 

Hobie: I would be a little bit excited. I think that might mean no school. 

John: What emotions do you feel on a Sunday night? 

Hobie: Motivated to get all my work done and ready for the week ahead. 

John: What emotions do you not feel on a Sunday night? 

Hobie: Excited. 

John: Would you consider stealing Mr. Gouline’s baked goods?  

Hobie: I would consider it because they are so good. But I wouldn’t do it because I have a lot of respect for Mr. Gouline and the time that he puts into making his baked goods. 

John: How does one apply reason to a sophisticated modern world?  

Hobie: I don’t have any answer for that. I feel like I could use a little reason in my life; sometimes, I just do what I feel like. 

John: Who is your least favorite Charlie Brown character? 

Hobie: Charlie Brown. He’s a little bit of a loser. I like the little bird; he’s clever and funny. 

Hobie has a lot of things to say, and some of them should be listened to. I hope you enjoyed the fifth edition of Cameron’s column, and stay tuned for the next issue, which will feature another very special guest.