By Jay Salovaara
SNOOZE Ins and Outs of 2026
Every year, The Gilman Snooze forecasts the likely trends students and teachers can expect to appear on campus. The Snooze’s team of writers and researchers has been working tirelessly to analyze social media trends as well as word of mouth around Gilman’s campus to predict the fads of 2026. After extensive research, the Snooze is proud to present its list of what will be in and out on campus this upcoming year.
Out
Saying “Hey” to people in the halls
Being late to assembly
Picking up other people’s trash on campus
Neckties
Calling out opposing athletes by name or jersey number
ChatGPT
Complaining about the lunch food
Crossing the bridges between schools
That Freshman-only fight club that meets in the woodshop during lunch
Playing computer games during study hall
The Snooze looks forward to covering these and other developing trends in the new year, as our staff has been cursed with the ability to see into the future while being unable to change it.
In
Forcing underclassmen to answer three riddles before entering a classroom
Setting administrators’ watches back five minutes to confuse them
Picking up people who litter and refusing to put them down
Ascots with pictures of Coach Emala
Calling out opposing athletes by social security number or Sex and the City lookalike
Magic 8 Balls
Complaining about how useless Magic 8 Balls are
Traveling using that giant catapult Joe Wise built
Checking in on the mental well-being of your friends
Losing thousands in online poker during study hall