What is the Smyth after? Stability or untapped athletic power?

GILMAN SCHOOL - At a press conference on Monday, Head of School Henry P.A. Smyth announced that over the weekend Gilman carried out covert operations in Owings Mills in which McDonogh’s Head of School, David J. Farace was captured. Director of Advancement Operations and Strategic Military Operations Nathaniel Badder ‘94 announced that the mission involved two teams of Gilman raiders and the water polo team, which was intended to mount an amphibious assault on McDonogh before they realized there was no water on the campus. Badder announced that the teams were met with minimal resistance as most McDonogh students were on vacation at their homes in the Hamptons. 

Mr. Smyth refused to field questions about his plans for Gilman’s involvement in McDonogh future, but he issued some brief statements concerning the current state of affairs. He announced that Gilman will be “running” McDonogh for some time, telling reporters, “We will be running things for a while. We’re going to be doing very great things over there, very great. If you look at what’s been happening over there, and I’ve been looking at it, and many people are saying, really smart people, coming to me these really smart people, and they’ve been saying. They’re saying you’ve got to do something about these horrible things these people are doing, and they’re saying only you can fix things, fix these horrible things, I mean if you look at what they’re doing, and it’s really horrible what they’re doing, they’re saying only I can fix these things. So we’re going to be helping them and we’re going to have our athletic department come in, and these are really great people, they’re going to be helping out with their athletes, these are great guys, we’re gonna be putting some of their athletes on our teams until they can handle their situation responsibly.”

There has been much speculation about the motivations for the removal of McDonogh’s headmaster. Gilman leadership has maintained that it is solely to help restore administrative integrity to the institution, which has been in turmoil ever since their lacrosse coach, Andy Hilgartner, left the school for Georgetown Preparatory School. Skeptics have suggested that this operation is a ploy to gain control of McDonogh’s vast reserves of athletes in an attempt to gain a competitive advantage in the MIAA. After losing the MIAA soccer semifinals and this year’s Gilman v. McDonogh game, Mr. Smyth was reported to have been eyeing a way to gain access to McDonogh’s athletic wealth.

Gilman historians have sighted past Gilman headmaster Jon C. McGill’s hostile takeover of Calvert Hall after their 2003 MIAA lacrosse championship. McGill claimed Calvert Hall possessed Students of Mass Potential and insisted that Gilman’s intervention was necessary. However, it was quickly proved that no Calvert Hall students possessed any potential, and the interference was an attempt to gain access to Calvert Hall lacrosse players. 

It is unclear what Mr. Smyth’s full plans for the school in Owings Mills are, and The Snooze will be following the situation to see how things play out.